I started a new journey in this trip called Life - A Walk with Diabetes. And yes, I shall call this my Frienemy. The friend in it is probably the only thing in the world that would have made me look seriously at improving my eating habits. The enemy in it is adding additional heath concerns and health risks to my already full medical agenda.
Day 1
I was diagnosed day before yesterday. I'm not sure how most people find out they have diabetes, but I have to assume that, like me, they have things going wrong one by one until they finally realize they probably need to see their doctor. And it's not as if I hadn't seen my doctor in a while. I had. I have been seeing him twice a year (actually more, but certainly twice a year) since I was diagnosed with hypertension a couple of years ago. And I saw my doctor back in October. At that time there were no significant symptoms and everything appeared to be fine. My blood pressure was being sufficiently controlled by my meds and my Triglycerides, which became an issue a little over a year ago, were down.
Well, it's pretty obvious I'm not a very healthy person, but I never considered myself to be sickly. I do have a problem with my weight, but I have had a problem with my weight since hormones started bombarding my body as an adolescent. And I'm sure my weight plays into my overall health, but I feel slighted by the fact that I know and have known many people who are more overweight than I am and yet they don't fight hypertension, triglycerides or diabetes. How did I get so lucky (sense the sarcasm?)?
So, what did I really expect the doctor to say when I went into his office Monday? I don't know. Really? Yeah, really. I knew there was something wrong, and I had had Diabetes suggested by a couple of people, but I think I had a mental block that made me think he was going to say my vision issues were an unfortunate side effect of my meds. Or even just the results of Lasik surgery reversal, as my daughter suggested. And I guess I expected him to tell me I'm no thirstier than the average person should be and that I was drinking an insufficient amount before that. Funny how, without a conscious effort, you can put on a pair of rose colored glasses and think everything looks so nice.
And knowing that Diabetes had been suggested; and knowing that Diabetes runs in my family, I still sat in my doctors office almost in a state of shock feeling a bit of depression setting in. I was also confused because I had so many questions, but I really didn't know what those questions were. So I sat, looking dumbfounded, while the doctor & his nurse came in and out of the room with more information & more pieces of equipment that was soon enough to be referred to as my "kit".
And, my oh my what a kit I acquired in such a short time (well, if you call a 3 hour doctors visit a short time. When I got home with my supplies & prescriptions and laid it all out on my kitchen counter I just stared at it wondering how I was going to keep up with it all and even more-so, how was I going to remember it all. But, as the shock wore off I realized I needed to organize it and condense it into a smaller expanse. Fortunately I do crafts and had bought some "Snap 'n Stack" Craft Organizer plastic-ware that I thought might work out so down to the craft room I scurried & dumped all the contents of one case. It turned out to be a great solution. I filled the small divided compartments with lancets, needles, test strip vials and alcohol wipes; I filled the bottom compartment with my prescription boxes (collapsed of course) and my notes given to me by my doctor; and I filled the top compartment with the meter kit, my log book and an ink pen. I felt a little better since being condensed did not look as daunting as spread all across my kitchen counter looked.
Day 2
Well, day 2 started okay. I woke up and checked my sugar and it was considerably lower than it had been at the doctors office the day before - 316 as opposed to 612. I felt better - I thought. Made myself my usual cup of hot chocolate and a slice of toast (I buttered it more lightly that I usually do in consideration of the need to reduce the fattening things I consume). I sat down to watch some morning television and fell asleep within minutes and did not wake up again until [just in] time for my next sugar check. (And I think this is when my first emotional reaction was triggered) My sugar had shot back up to almost 500. I was more than upset - I was pretty much devastated by this. I could never have imagined that one cup of hot chocolate and one slice of toast would do that!
One thing I knew right then was that I would have to give up hot chocolate, but that was a whole 'nother issue. You see, I had an issue with my old coffee maker or the grounds I bought. One or the other had introduced some foreign matter into my coffee and I refused to use either again. That was several months ago and at that time I switched to hot chocolate. When I said something to my husband (who has been such a wonderful support through this) he said there was nothing wrong with the coffee maker other than it sitting unused for so long and that I needed to just clean it up and run some vinegar through it. Being in a dejected state of mind with no will to argue or fight anything I got the dishcloth and proceeded to wash the accumulated dust off the top of the coffee maker. But this was a short venture since there was an accumulation of hard water deposits and whatever else hard water (and a crummy water company) contains that leeches into every nook & cranny it can in this house (I could mention that I hate our water supply, but that may already be obvious). Anyway, before I digress into a tirade on the water company, back to the coffeemaker issue. When I attempted to wash those water deposits from the water reservoir I lost it - my emotional being just started crying & after turning a couple of circles I started to sit in the floor to cry it out. I guess that caught my sweet hubby off guard because he caught me under the arms before I could get to the floor, hugged me close and said "we'll go buy a new coffe maker". (Have I mentioned how wonderful he has been through this?)
Day 1
I was diagnosed day before yesterday. I'm not sure how most people find out they have diabetes, but I have to assume that, like me, they have things going wrong one by one until they finally realize they probably need to see their doctor. And it's not as if I hadn't seen my doctor in a while. I had. I have been seeing him twice a year (actually more, but certainly twice a year) since I was diagnosed with hypertension a couple of years ago. And I saw my doctor back in October. At that time there were no significant symptoms and everything appeared to be fine. My blood pressure was being sufficiently controlled by my meds and my Triglycerides, which became an issue a little over a year ago, were down.
Well, it's pretty obvious I'm not a very healthy person, but I never considered myself to be sickly. I do have a problem with my weight, but I have had a problem with my weight since hormones started bombarding my body as an adolescent. And I'm sure my weight plays into my overall health, but I feel slighted by the fact that I know and have known many people who are more overweight than I am and yet they don't fight hypertension, triglycerides or diabetes. How did I get so lucky (sense the sarcasm?)?
So, what did I really expect the doctor to say when I went into his office Monday? I don't know. Really? Yeah, really. I knew there was something wrong, and I had had Diabetes suggested by a couple of people, but I think I had a mental block that made me think he was going to say my vision issues were an unfortunate side effect of my meds. Or even just the results of Lasik surgery reversal, as my daughter suggested. And I guess I expected him to tell me I'm no thirstier than the average person should be and that I was drinking an insufficient amount before that. Funny how, without a conscious effort, you can put on a pair of rose colored glasses and think everything looks so nice.
And knowing that Diabetes had been suggested; and knowing that Diabetes runs in my family, I still sat in my doctors office almost in a state of shock feeling a bit of depression setting in. I was also confused because I had so many questions, but I really didn't know what those questions were. So I sat, looking dumbfounded, while the doctor & his nurse came in and out of the room with more information & more pieces of equipment that was soon enough to be referred to as my "kit".
And, my oh my what a kit I acquired in such a short time (well, if you call a 3 hour doctors visit a short time. When I got home with my supplies & prescriptions and laid it all out on my kitchen counter I just stared at it wondering how I was going to keep up with it all and even more-so, how was I going to remember it all. But, as the shock wore off I realized I needed to organize it and condense it into a smaller expanse. Fortunately I do crafts and had bought some "Snap 'n Stack" Craft Organizer plastic-ware that I thought might work out so down to the craft room I scurried & dumped all the contents of one case. It turned out to be a great solution. I filled the small divided compartments with lancets, needles, test strip vials and alcohol wipes; I filled the bottom compartment with my prescription boxes (collapsed of course) and my notes given to me by my doctor; and I filled the top compartment with the meter kit, my log book and an ink pen. I felt a little better since being condensed did not look as daunting as spread all across my kitchen counter looked.
Day 2
Well, day 2 started okay. I woke up and checked my sugar and it was considerably lower than it had been at the doctors office the day before - 316 as opposed to 612. I felt better - I thought. Made myself my usual cup of hot chocolate and a slice of toast (I buttered it more lightly that I usually do in consideration of the need to reduce the fattening things I consume). I sat down to watch some morning television and fell asleep within minutes and did not wake up again until [just in] time for my next sugar check. (And I think this is when my first emotional reaction was triggered) My sugar had shot back up to almost 500. I was more than upset - I was pretty much devastated by this. I could never have imagined that one cup of hot chocolate and one slice of toast would do that!
One thing I knew right then was that I would have to give up hot chocolate, but that was a whole 'nother issue. You see, I had an issue with my old coffee maker or the grounds I bought. One or the other had introduced some foreign matter into my coffee and I refused to use either again. That was several months ago and at that time I switched to hot chocolate. When I said something to my husband (who has been such a wonderful support through this) he said there was nothing wrong with the coffee maker other than it sitting unused for so long and that I needed to just clean it up and run some vinegar through it. Being in a dejected state of mind with no will to argue or fight anything I got the dishcloth and proceeded to wash the accumulated dust off the top of the coffee maker. But this was a short venture since there was an accumulation of hard water deposits and whatever else hard water (and a crummy water company) contains that leeches into every nook & cranny it can in this house (I could mention that I hate our water supply, but that may already be obvious). Anyway, before I digress into a tirade on the water company, back to the coffeemaker issue. When I attempted to wash those water deposits from the water reservoir I lost it - my emotional being just started crying & after turning a couple of circles I started to sit in the floor to cry it out. I guess that caught my sweet hubby off guard because he caught me under the arms before I could get to the floor, hugged me close and said "we'll go buy a new coffe maker". (Have I mentioned how wonderful he has been through this?)
So, after a lunch of lettuce with a scant bit of cheese and a few slices of pepperoni we headed to the local Wal-Mart and bought a new coffee maker, some new grounds and searched through aisle after aisle checking the carbs in the foods. I have resolved myself to giving up on fruit juices because I had been drinking those like water (gonna go with water, which I have never much been able to abide until the symptom of diabetes caused me to have an unquenchable thirst). I passed on so many foods that I have always stocked on my pantry in exchange for some new additions. I will do my best to snack on Hot-N-Spicy Pork Skins over potato chips and I will have to make salad a regular addition as opposed to an occasional addition.
My afternoon sugar was odd (or at least it was odd to this un-knowledgeable diabetic), it was below 100. Wondering if I had made a mistake in the testing I repeated it and registered 102. Figuring there is no sense in repeating the test over & over I recorded it in my logbook for my doctor to explain. But, I figured I had done well for lunch and treated myself to some ham & pineapple pizza for supper. Thankfully the bedtime reading did not make me regret my supper choice - I was barely over 250 at bedtime.
Day 3
Today I started my morning with coffee and applesauce. It didn't seem very satisfying, but I called it breakfast. Oh, don't get me wrong - I was happy to have a cup of coffee in the morning after so many months without my morning coffee, but I was still hungry and that didn't go away. Finally about mid-morning I ate a slice of sandwich ham to try to make my stomach a little happier. That held me okay until lunch.
I still have so many questions, the difference is that now I can put words to some of them. I have added a post-it note to my logbook so I can record questions for my doctor. And I am hopeful that I am emotionally a little better with all this than I was yesterday, but we won't know that for certain unless I have another meltdown. So right now my biggest regret is the (as I understand it) "temporary" loss of vision. It has hindered my ability to be a my PC in comfort, my ability to drive and my ability to read. The first two due to blurred vision and loss of distance vision. The reading due to my eyes getting tired very quickly. And so I sit and stare at blurry people on TV. I know it will get better, I just wish it could be miraculously fast (call me impatient along with the other things this blog has thus far revealed about me - lol).
Sorry you're having to deal with this. My prayers are with you in hopes of your vision improving swiftly.
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